The cost of Christmas: Why it's ok to say no to Christmas pressure

Every December, the same quiet but powerful force sweeps through the Island: the pressure to buy Christmas presents.

For many, it begins long before the tree goes up – messages from other parents about teacher gifts, lists shared in the office, and the subtle sense that, because someone has bought you something, you must return the favour.

But, as consumer expert Martin Lewis so eloquently put it on national television last week, the reality is that just because one person can comfortably afford to give a gift doesn’t mean the receiver can. Yet that same receiver may feel socially obliged to buy one in return anyway. And so the ripple effect begins with pressure, guilt, spending, and, for many households, debt.

Too often, I hear from Islanders who say they love Christmas, but dread the financial hangover that comes with it. No one wants to feel like the one who opted out, or the person who “didn’t bother”. But we have to recognise that not everyone is starting from the same financial place.

A well-intentioned £15 gift can create a sense of obligation in someone who may not have that spare £15. When multiplied across extended family, teachers, neighbours, colleagues, and Secret Santas, it becomes real money, real stress, and real anxiety.

There is no denying that teachers do incredible work, but every teacher I’ve ever spoken to stresses that they don’t expect gifts. A heartfelt card is more than enough. But we are seeing some receiving gift vouchers for many hundreds of pounds because of the suggested contribution. Imagine being asked to give £20 towards your child’s school gifts, and you have three children. It soon adds up.

At work, too, what starts as a bit of seasonal fun often becomes something people feel unable to say no to. Even a £10 Secret Santa can be a stretch for some households this winter. It’s time we normalised something healthier: you shouldn’t have to spend money to prove you care.

As Martin highlighted on ITV, one excellent idea could be arranging a Secret Santa where all gifts must come from a charity shop. This flips the script entirely, as the process then becomes low-cost, sustainable and fun, while also supporting charities.

It removes pressure, sparks creativity, and lets people participate without financial strain.

We need to get more comfortable saying no, but doing so politely, kindly, and without feeling judged.

So don’t feel pressured into giving this Christmas, and don’t be afraid to say that your budget is a bit tight this year, or perhaps asking if someone would be OK receiving something from a charity shop.

You can always consider creating your own personal voucher to give: offering to take them out one day, go for lunch in the summer, or do some jobs around the house. Indeed, look at the theme of this year’s Waitrose Christmas advert – cooking for someone can mean much more than a bought gift, which may end up sitting in the cupboard for years to come.